Not my average St. Patty's Day Weekend

I'm sure most of you have been nursing a hangover all day as March 18th is National Hangover Day. This is the first day after St. Patrick's Day that I haven't had a hangover in a very long time. The weekend didn't quite go as planned for me. I should be writing this post from Florida, but instead I'm sitting in my basement watching Fashion Police.

Why is Marc Jacobs wearing a pink polo dress? Is this really the way fashion is going? Are men all over the midwest going to be wearing polo dresses in five years? I just can't imagine a world where that is happening.

But I digress.

I mentioned in my last post that my oldest is in Florida with the in-laws. The plan was for the hubby, the youngest and I would fly out on St. Patty's Day to stay for a few days and bring the oldest back with us. In fact not long after I wrote my last post I fell into a flu coma. While I was laying in bed fluctuating between the chills and the sweats, the hubby calls to say the airline we were supposed to fly went under. I thought maybe I was just having a weird drug-induced nightmare, but nope this was real. I don't know if you've ever looked at flights a few days before "spring break week" to of all places - Florida, but they were a little different than your average flight. First of all, all the good flight times are spoken for so you're left with inconvenient departure and arrival times. Secondly, the prices are four times the normal cost. So between the cost and the idea of taking the youngest on his first flight at horrendous times of the day, mixed with the fact that he and I had been sick all week - we decided it would be best for the baby and I to stay put and the hubby to head to his folks' place and bring Cody back with him.

Honestly, not going to Florida didn't make me too sad. I had been looking forward to it, but the craziness of the flight issue, the flu, missing work most of the week and a sick baby on top of it all made the idea of staying home with just Keaton seem peaceful and relaxing. That is until I remembered it was St. Patty's Day weekend. Then my girlfriend called with the offer of a free wristband to a private St. Patty's Day bar party. So then I was forced to be the person no one likes on St. Patty's Day....a responsible mother. Ugh! Buzz kill. Making that decision to stay home and nurse your child back to health over day drinking with your girlfriend on my favorite holiday was incredibly hard. It went against everything that is right and good in the world. Well, my world at least. But I made the decision so I better go to awesome mommy heaven. And when he brings me into one of his future therapy sessions to blame everything that is wrong with his life on my parenting skills I'm showing him this post.

I chose your physical well being over St. Patty's Day day drinking! Is there a bigger sacrifice a parent can make?

From this sober St. Patty's Day experience did come a new tradition that I'd like to pass on to all of you which is the St. Patty's Day ice cream cake. It's for more than just birthdays.

one down, one to go

I'm down a kid this week. My in-laws took my oldest to Florida with them for the week. We fly down with the youngest this weekend. This is the first time Cody's been on a trip without one of us. It's weird only having Keaton here. It's weird to think he's half way across the country and able to survive without me. It's weird that he wasn't crushed at the idea of leaving me to go away to an exciting land of warm weather, pools, beaches, parks and no school. They even  upgraded to first class. He's going to get a nice warm dose of reality on the flight home.

It's kind of nice to focus on just one kid for a week. Keaton's never been an only child and seems to have grown accustomed to it very very quickly. We Face Timed with Cody this evening. Cody wasn't interested in talking to me, but was very interested in telling his little brother all about the swimming pool and park. Nevermind that his younger brother is not even 2 and just wants to push buttons on the phone. I only gave him life. No big deal.

The plus side of having one kid is my evening was free at 8PM. I'm using this free time wisely by blogging and watching Poetic Justice. Yes, that Poetic Justice. TuPac is alive, yo! P.S. Janet Jackson needs to stop trying to act. The fashion is hot though. TuPac has a "diamond" in his nose the size of my thumb nail. If that isn't gangster, I don't know what is. This was Janet's best music though. Well, with the exception of Nasty Boy. They could have fit that song into the movie somewhere.

In true 4th Gear fashion I switch from Poetic Justice to Idina Menzel concert on public access. For those of you that are clueless who I'm talking about - she played the witch in Wicked on Broadway, Rachel's mom on Glee and is married to Taye Diggs - that tall, glass of chocolate milk. Yum. It's on all the time. Check it out. It will make you a better person.

Don't call me baby. It's Molly. Ms. 4th Gear if you're nasty.

I wonder if this will hold up in court?

Does DCFS even have a court? I don't know how the system works, but I think I'm going to find out soon.

You know how I've mentioned before that I'm kind of like a gay Ice Cube in that I love musicals and gangster rap with a little pop music thrown in? I know how that can get mixed up with a lot of other people.

So I had always figured it would be the gangster rap music biting me in the ass when it came to the kids. They play with my phone constantly, but luckily it always seems to be Neil Diamond's "Coming to America" that gets accidentally played.

Ahhh, the Jazz Singer - Jews and Jazz. Those were good times. I digress, back to my story.

Recently I've been listening in my car to The Book of Mormon soundtrack. For those of you that aren't up to speed on current Broadway shows, The Book of Mormon was created by the same guys that created South Park. If you don't know what South Park is but you read this blog then my parents might have done something right. Well, my dad. You'll soon learn why it wouldn't be my mom.

The Book of Mormon is about two guys that are going out on their mission. It is common for Mormon men in their late teens/early 20's to do a couple of years of mission work. So these two guys - polar opposites of course - get sent to Uganda and havoc unfolds.

It's hysterical and completely inappropriate. It makes me as a Christian concerned that God will strike me with lightening just from listening to it, but it is so damn funny I can't help myself. Another example that Trey Parker might be the Devil.

I have only listened to it without the kids in the car. Usually on my way to and from work while I sing along. I'd try out for American Idol if I could have the exact same acoustics that are in my car.

This past weekend my mom kept my kids for the night. She has a convertible and I have Vegas - a Gold Hyundai Santa Fe. So we swapped cars so she could take them out to do fun stuff with the ease of getting them in and out of the car without putting the top down first. Cody, the 5-year-old, asked her to play the "fire" song. She didn't know what he was talking about so she pressed the "CD" button and The Book of Mormon came on. The fact that she let it play in the car, knowing what it was and not squashing it instantly probably explains a lot about me.

So now, Cody has two new favorite songs. "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" and "Man Up".

"Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" ends with one of the main characters saying, "I can't believe Jesus just called me a dick." He says this very clearly. There's no mistaking any of his words. I let him listen to it one time with me because I honestly couldn't remember how bad it was. I turned it off immediately after it said "dick" and told Cody he could never listen to the song again and never to say those words.

"That's a very bad sentence. Don't ever say that sentence."

"I won't say, Jesus called me a dick, Mommy."

"Ummm, good. Don't say that."

"Man Up" talks about how Jesus grew a set and died for our sins on the cross. I've let him listen to that one a few times since then. I call it Mobile Sunday School.

For the record, the "fire" song is Adele's "Set fire to the rain".