Oh dear friends, we meet again. It's been a good fortnight or two since I've last blogged.
Alright, enough with the accent. I have things to complain about. Specifically this hot-as-hell weather. Someone please call the Waaa-mbulance because I'm hot and cranky and whiney. Temps over 100 degrees are ridiculous and everyone should receive the day off to just let all their fat hang out in the privacy of their own home. When that doesn't happen they let all their fat hang out where I can see them. Plus I've become annoyed by the sound of my own flip flops. I made the mistake of wearing wedges the other day and I think I actually lost consciousness for a moment when I took them off due to the horrendous stench.
My kids have a BMI of -2% so they aren't nearly as affected by this heat which means they want to play outside 24/7. When I try to play with them outside, they complain that I take up all the space in the kiddy pool. Well, fuck me. It's too hot out to not be submerged in water. Go fend for yourselves! Grow bigger so you can fight me off. Until then, I'm the queen of this kiddy pool!
Plus the heat makes everyone so irritable. Well, it is either that or the constant stream of political posts on Facebook.
And there are all these crazy fires in Colorado and terrible hurricanes in Florida. Guess I shouldn't complain about the usual hot temps in the Midwest, but this is my blog and I can do what I damn well please. Don't like it? Stop reading it.
Okay, don't stop reading it. I need you to read it to justify my existence. Who else is going to do that? My husband? My kids? Bitch, please.
For real though, how is it that man has managed to create something as amazing as an iPhone, but we haven't evolved enough as a society to figure out how to put out a fire? Doesn't that seem like something we should have figured out by now? Can't you buy a fire extinguisher at Walmart? I know I have a good gallon of water collecting under my breasts right now. I'd be happy to dump it on the fire. I've seen footage of these huge flames that are miles and miles wide, and then there is a little plane flying over it with essentially the equivalent of an old man peeing on the fire. Really? That's all we've got? Is that really the best we can do?
I'd solve all the world's problems today, but it is just too damn hot. Maybe when we're under triple digits I can do some more good for my community. Until then it's probably better to keep a safe distance away.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Lesson of the Day
I worked at a garage sale today. The proceeds benefitted my oldest's school. This garage sale was just one of many throughout the neighborhood. I always enjoy having garage sales because the garage sale clientele is so versatile. Every walk of life shops garage sales and it is always interesting to see and talk to them all.
There are the people that come just to check out your stuff and judge you. They don't typically talk to you too much. There are the people that are hoarders and are buying such an array of items that you know they have six more of all of these in their car. There are the people that come just to talk and not to shop. These people are full of free advice about an array of topics. Today my garage sale partner learned from a nice older gentleman how to turn her Hydrangeas blue.
Here are the two most important things I leanred today:
#1. I understand why there is the rule: no shirt, no shoes, no service as there were many people that came through the garage sale without shoes. I don't know if they lived in the neighborhood or came by car, but obviously shoes were too stiffling for them and were deemed unnecessary.
#2. I put my youngest's high chair in the garage sale. He's moved onto a booster seat at the kitchen table and I was tired of cleaning up all the crevices of his high chair. It was the type of high chair that straps onto a chair and pulls up to the table and a tray attaches to it. A couple came through the garage sale with a baby and decided to buy the high chair. According to them it would be perfect to take to the race track with them because they get tired of holding the baby. I thought the cutest thing about the family was how they all matched so much. Mostly just in their number of teeth, but still it was cute.
What have you learned from garage sales?
There are the people that come just to check out your stuff and judge you. They don't typically talk to you too much. There are the people that are hoarders and are buying such an array of items that you know they have six more of all of these in their car. There are the people that come just to talk and not to shop. These people are full of free advice about an array of topics. Today my garage sale partner learned from a nice older gentleman how to turn her Hydrangeas blue.
Here are the two most important things I leanred today:
#1. I understand why there is the rule: no shirt, no shoes, no service as there were many people that came through the garage sale without shoes. I don't know if they lived in the neighborhood or came by car, but obviously shoes were too stiffling for them and were deemed unnecessary.
#2. I put my youngest's high chair in the garage sale. He's moved onto a booster seat at the kitchen table and I was tired of cleaning up all the crevices of his high chair. It was the type of high chair that straps onto a chair and pulls up to the table and a tray attaches to it. A couple came through the garage sale with a baby and decided to buy the high chair. According to them it would be perfect to take to the race track with them because they get tired of holding the baby. I thought the cutest thing about the family was how they all matched so much. Mostly just in their number of teeth, but still it was cute.
What have you learned from garage sales?
Friday, June 1, 2012
To whom it may concern.
Dear Sir or Madam,
A co-worker picked me up a bagel from Panera this morning. You were in front of my co-worker and paid for our order. Thus, you bought my breakfast this morning. To that I say, you are fucking awesome. Yes, I can afford the few dollars my breakfast would have cost me, but your generosity was a welcome surprise. So please accept my gratefulness.
The only problem is now I have this guilt to "pay it backward" to someone else. I'm not a fan of feeling guilty. I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish so this feeling of guilt is not a daily occurrence for me. To coincide with that, I'm also a cheap bitch so now I need to figure out the cheapest place I can drive thru for lunch so as to hopefully incur the smallest debt possible.
Sincerely,
4th Gear Molly
A co-worker picked me up a bagel from Panera this morning. You were in front of my co-worker and paid for our order. Thus, you bought my breakfast this morning. To that I say, you are fucking awesome. Yes, I can afford the few dollars my breakfast would have cost me, but your generosity was a welcome surprise. So please accept my gratefulness.
The only problem is now I have this guilt to "pay it backward" to someone else. I'm not a fan of feeling guilty. I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish so this feeling of guilt is not a daily occurrence for me. To coincide with that, I'm also a cheap bitch so now I need to figure out the cheapest place I can drive thru for lunch so as to hopefully incur the smallest debt possible.
Sincerely,
4th Gear Molly
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