I asked on Facebook for topic requests for this blog. I got a lot of really fun ideas and I plan on writing about many of them, maybe even all of them, but one idea stuck in my head all day today. It isn't as funny as what you might be expecting, but I can't get it out of my head so I have to share it with you all.
On December 15, 2006, my first child was born. Most of that day is a blur to me looking back. I know most women claim that when their first child is born it is this Hallelujah moment and they feel so connected to this baby immediately. They cry and cry and look at this baby who's face they say they have seen in their dreams.
This was not my experience. My labor itself was fairly easy, but it was all new to me. I went from feeling pain and following the orders of doctors and nurses - move here, breath this way, push now to suddenly having a baby put on my chest. Was he laid on my chest? I have no idea. I do remember he immediately started peeing all over the place as soon as he hit the open air. Fitting.
I don't even remember my husband cutting the cord until he mentioned it hours later. I was present in the moment, but I was so busy trying to take it all in and so many new experiences happening at once that I kind of lost the emotion in it all. I'd never even laid in a hospital bed before, been around that sort of medical environment and then you mix it with these odd feelings of humiliation and wonder of what's happening with your body that you can't even control. It's just a lot to take in. Or at least it was a lot for me to take in. Okay, so this sounds like it was a horrible day instead of the wonderful introduction to my son that it was.
My husband stayed the night in the hospital with me that first night. The poor guy slept on some terrible pull out couch so the next night I sent him home for a good night's sleep since we'd be coming home the next day. He happily went home to sleep in a comfortable bed and I was left with my son by myself for the first time. Cody was sleeping soundly in my arms and I started to relax.
"Alright, kid, it's you and me. I'm your mom. Sorry for all the swear words you've heard over the last 9 months. I'll see what I can do about cleaning it up a little. You're welcome for all the Taco Bell Gordito's and McDonald's McRibs."
He continued to sleep as most newborns do in the hospital. (I don't know what kind of special oxygen they pump in hospitals to make babies sleep, but they need to sell it because guaranteed 10PM the first night you're at home with the baby he wakes up and never sleeps that sound again.) So I flipped on the TV.
Saturday Night Live was just about to start. I had watched SNL here and there throughout my life, but have never been a regular follower. That evening - December 16, 2006 - Justin Timberlake was the host and the musical guest. His first skit - Omeletteville - had me giggling in my head a bit. My husband has always mocked me for not laughing out loud to movies or TV. I easily laugh out loud when talking to people, but for some reason I rarely laugh out loud when I watch something...unless it is really really funny. Then the now famous "Dick in a box" video came on. I nearly fell off the bed, dropping my one day old baby on the hard hospital room floor because I was laughing out of control. I can't believe nurses didn't come running to see what the uproar was. Maybe they were all busy delivering other babies. Or maybe they were in a break room also cracking up at SNL that night.
It was such a pure Molly moment. I'm not a sentimentalist, but I am a humorist. So it seems so completely appropriate that my first memorable moment my son and I shared together was watching "Dick in a box." Every time I watch that video I think about siting in that hospital bed, holding Cody and crying from hysterical laughter.
And that's how Justin Timberlake became Cody's Godfather. He just doesn't know it yet. I don't know why that asshole doesn't return my calls.
Derrick - does this count as your 15 minutes of fame I owe you?
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