My favorite guilty pleasures

You know I enjoy vodka and beer and wine, but I wouldn't even consider those items some of my favorite things. And since I'm the closest thing we have to Oprah now that she has retired her show I will list them below. I think you will find these will not help you at all when purchasing Christmas presents this year or in life in general. But I never promised this blog would add real value to your life so shut up and just keep reading.

And I'm not going to list my children, husband, family, blah blah blah. I'm talking about my favorite things. Come on now.

1. iPhone. And I'm not saying that just because Steve Jobs died today. By the way, tonight I read that Steve was adopted. His biological parents were some college student and some dude from India or somewhere like that. And they eventually got married and had another kid, but gave Steve up for adoption. Does Steve have a E! True Hollywood Story? I need to get the full scoop on all that drama. Anyway, I love my iPhone. There was a study that went out that said people would give up sex for a week before giving up their phone for a week. Duh! My phone already has a vibrate function. And if you tell me you would give up the phone, I don't believe you  - so save it. Unless you're over the age of 55. Then you might.

2. Stick pretzels and mustard. Not the thick breadstick like pretzels. Regular grocery store brand stick pretzels and regular yellow mustard. It's my favorite side to any meal. It is the all time perfect side to a hot dog. Bun length all beef hot dog on a bun with mustard - lots of it - and stick pretzels. That way you can dip the pretzels into the mustard on the hot dog and use the pretzels to spread out the mustard on the hot dog. Perfection.

3. Cereal. Yes, I'm talking about more food. I eat cereal for dinner at least one night a week. When the hubby is traveling it is a lot more than that. I love all kinds of cereal, but of course sugar cereal is the best. I try to keep one "healthy" cereal in the house at all times along with 2 or 3 sugar cereals. Cereals I have right now: Special K with red berries - I have the Kellogg's brand and the off brand right now, Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops, Cheerios, and Lucky Charms. Some of my other favorites that I don't have right now include Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries and Cookie Crisp. I like to eat the cereal dry as a snack or in a bowl with milk.

4. 5 Oreo cookies and a mug of milk. It has to be 5 oreo cookies. Not 4, not 6. 5 is the perfect number for a snack or dessert. The milk has to be in a mug. It's the perfect width for dipping. Along with the 5 oreo cookies and mug of milk, it tastes best when eaten in my bed. This is not some kinky thing. I don't want anyone else in bed with me. By myself. Covers pulled up. Mug of milk in hand. Plate of 5 oreos on my lap. Some guilty pleasure TV show on like Real Housewives or 90210. It feels so good. I can't explain it past that.

5. Chapstick. I'm completely addicted to Chapstick. I have them planted all over the place. I have one on my desk, at least one in my purse, a couple in my nightstand drawer and drawers around the house and one in my car. I apply chapstick to my lips about a dozen times a day. I cake it on my lips just before I go to bed.

So now as I finish my night with a bowl of cereal before I smear on the chapstick, I end this blog knowing I've added nothing to your life tonight. However, feel free to quote me on Facebook and Twitter instead of Steve Jobs. I'm pretty sure this is a quote from his biological mother, "Shit!"