I don't know if it is something my friend practices daily with her family or something she grew up playing or just something she stole from a TV show. Regardless, I completely get off on that Leave It To Beaver shit so I'm going to share my highs and lows from this past weekend. Feel free to share your highs and lows with me. I guess it is only fair that this relationship be a two way street, just as long as you realize that I'm the more important person in the relationship.
Lows: I think my 1-year-old broke my nose. It happened Saturday night. A friends' family was over which meant we had five kids under five in the house. This shouldn't be too difficult since we also had four adults, but first you must understand that little boys are like Gremlins. They might be Mogwais in the hospital, but as soon as you try to go to bed that first night home - they become Gremlins. (For those of you under 30 that don't understand what I'm talking about, please rent the movie Gremlins and be prepared to not sleep for a few nights.) They destroy everything in their path, constantly want to snack - but won't sit down for a meal, grow bored after a minute and a half at one task and quickly move onto another task and when in groups of three or more the volume, mess and chaos are multiplied by a gazillion. True story. So in the midst of this perfect storm, my one year old head butts me on my nose. If you heard a crack around 7:30PM Saturday night, that was my nose. He didn't flinch where as I immediately held my nose expecting to catch galloons of blood. However, it only caught tears. No blood was shed. The child was quickly scooped off my lap, I think in an attempt to protect him from any retaliation. Now, two days later my nose is still a bit swollen, a little crooked and very sore. The child is still unharmed, but I am plotting my revenge.
Highs: All of my Christmas shopping is done. I just have to place the order. I saw a commercial last night for the "Forever Lazy". If you think the Snuggie or Slanket are great, then just wait. Grab onto your britches and search "Forever Lazy" on You Tube. It fixes all the problems with the Snuggie or Slanket because as much as we all want to be lazy, sometimes we also want to play the Wii or go to the bathroom or are channel surfers or want to read a book or magazine. With the long boxy sleeves of the Snuggie or Slanket along with the fact that it just draped over your shoulders - it didn't fasten in the back, you were left with not much more than a regular blanket. The "Forever Lazy" fixes all of that. You can run the trash can down to the corner, lay on the couch channel surfing, play video games and more. Don't worry. The makers of the "Forever Lazy" have thought of everything. Need to use the restroom? There's a trap door. The Angelina Joli movie making you a little frisky? There's a trap door in front, too. (Box of kleenex not included) The only downfall I can find in this genius product is it only comes in three colors - grey, pink and navy. Where's my sports team logo or my leopard print? Maybe by Valentine's Day. Then I can get one for the hubby.
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