The only thing irrational about fears is the rationale for those fears.

I don't really know what that blog title means. Does it make me sound smart? At this point is there even a chance of that? I'm guessing no.

I'm writing this blog to force myself to take a break from reading the Jaycee Dugard book. I'm enjoying the book - if you can say enjoying. It's kind of like a train wreck that you can't walk away from. I know it has a happy ending so I guess that helps. I enjoy it like I enjoyed The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo movie. I read that book, too so it really doesn't make sense why I went to see the movie. It's full of perversity, misogyny and violence. And I'm not even giving away anything by telling you that. So what does it say about me that I am putting myself through this? That I like that kind of thing? I probably need therapy.

So I'm taking a break from the book, doing a load of laundry, watching the 25th Anniversary special of Les Miserables on public access and writing this blog. And obviously counting down the days until my next birthday when I will turn 93. I've said before I'm like a gay Ice T. I was listening to gangster rap all day at work - because there is nothing that keeps me more focused than some hardcore, dirty rap. I get home from work to play with my kid and now here I sit drawing comfort from some showtunes in my Forever Lazy.

If you know of a good therapist, please leave it in the comments section below.

So about Jaycee Dugard. She might be my hero because she lived through what is my ultimate worst nightmare. My biggest irrational fear is being kidnapped. I can only claim this as an irrational fear in the last 5 years because now that I have children, shouldn't I worry more about them getting kidnapped?  Is it even considered kidnapping if you are 34?

The idea that my kids could be kidnapped rarely enters my head. Aside from the few occasions I've been at a park or children's play area and a random dude on his own is hanging out there. Then it's splitzville.

Back to me. (I have to say this way too often I've noticed.) I won't sit in a car by myself when I'm in the passenger seat. Well, I will but I immediately lock the doors and sit there in paranoia checking everyone out, waiting for someone to come up to the car and snatch me. Because, yes, someone is going to come up and kidnap me. Not mug me. Not attack me. They are going to kidnap me and call my parents for ransom. If that happens, I wonder if my parents will give them the hubby's phone number. I have been this way as long as I can remember. So I guess my only saving grace is I didn't start doing this when I was in my 20's. I've been terrified of being kidnapped since I was a child.

My other big fear is snakes, but I don't find this to be irrational. You should be scared of snakes. They are evil animals, put on this Earth for absolutely no reason. I am certain the Devil put them here and God allows them to be here so we are reminded that the Devil exists. In my opinion, the people that deserve to be kidnapped are those that try to keep a snake as a pet. I don't understand the point of it. You can't play with a snake, you can't cuddle with a snake. What is the point? Snake owners are stupid. And snake handlers? Words cannot express the stupidity.

And now I'll probably have nightmares of getting kidnapped, held in a tent in some pervert's backyard with a bunch of snakes to share my space with. I won't last a minute.

At least I can gay out to the finale of Les Miserables.