1st Gear Molly

I'm obnoxious. This is no secret. I'm loud in every way possible - volume, actions, opinions, and more.  If you've spent any time at all with me, it is very likely that you have been annoyed by me at some point in time.
Sometimes I have to be in first gear. I have a career. I go to social events. So I'm aware that I have to simmer down occasionally and throw it into 1st. I can't throw swear words around, make inappropriate remarks and cut jokes all the time. Well, I can, but sometimes this is less than appreciated. And I gotta keep my job. Home girl needs to get paid.
Sometimes I'm too much for a person. I'm used to spotting this quickly. Fine by me. I don't need everyone to like me. I'd rather go on without this person in my life than hold back at all just so he or she will like me. What fun is that? And I am definitely fun. Correction. I'm fucking fun. That feels better. And I have plenty of people that enjoy my obnoxiousness at least most of the time.
I'm never going to be some Stepford Trophy Wife. I'm more like the Toilet Bowl Championship Trophy. And I wear this title with pride. I feel sorry for the Stepford Trophy Wife. Well...maybe I don't feel sorry for them. More like I'm freaked out by them. I mean, when they do muster some emotion and maybe shed a tear or two they still look beautiful. I don't trust anyone that looks pretty while crying or laughing for that matter. Is it even considered laughing if you're mouth isn't hanging open, you're bent over, tears coming out of your eyes and maybe even squeak a little fart out?
How do they stay completely reserved at all times, holding back opinions and just standing there being agreeable all of the time? They must be exhausted. I'm exhausted just watching them. These women must get freaky at some point. I bet they are all crazy tantric sex addicts. Maybe I'll just keep that thought in my head the next time I'm somewhere and am forced to have a conversation with one. If nothing else I'll be entertained.