Occasionally people try to sneak something by me and I have to call bullshit on them. Here are some recent bullshits that I'm calling.
Walmart employee - you're invitation/thank you card aisle is completely empty and you claim you will have new stock on Friday. The old stock completely sold out, you say? Bullshit.
You're accent doesn't make you Southern if you're not actually from the South. It makes you a hillbilly...or white trash. I'm fine with either title. I call bullshit.
You mock my trendy sunglasses while wearing a knock off Ed Hardy t-shirt. I call bullshit.
You're not open past 5? Bullshit.
You drive a yellow Corvette with personalized plates and you don't have a small penis? Bullshit.
The specific notebook you want me to get for my 4-year old so he can "journal" is easy to find? Bullshit.
Said notebook is under $2? Bullshit.
You post on Facebook vague statements about life but you don't want to talk about it? Bullshit.
You listen to unpopular music because you are deep, misunderstood, or troubled? Bullshit. You're annoying.
You talk about the problems in your life, people give you the obvious solutions but you refuse to take said advice. You claim to want to fix your problems? Bullshit.
You're always happy, no one ever gets to you, you don't have an opinion about anything? Bullshit. You're a Stepford Wife.
What do you call bullshit on?
3 comments:
Molly, Molly, Molly -
where does this come from. Actually I don't give a shit because it is so freaking hilarious. Each one better than the last.
I, too, freestyle with Short Dog in the confines of my office and car.
Kudos.
I can't help it. The little people in my head make me do it. I try to tell them to "be quiet," but then the people around me look at me odd.
the facebook on is so, so true. and so, so annoying.
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