Most of the time I live my life as if nothing bad could ever happen to me. I've lived a pretty freaking blessed life. I was born to a middle class white family. The hardest hurdle I've had in life is that I don't have a dick, thus deal with throwing rocks at that damn glass ceiling above me. If there are any white guys reading this blog (aside from my husband who is contractually obligated to - although really only reads it to see how much I throw him under the bus) just ignore that. I know you think the world is equal to us all and we all face the same hurdles in life. You were born this privileged and far be it for me to poop on your parade.
But occasionally those bad things do happen in some form or another - death of a grandparent or loss of a job. Things that at the time seem devastating and you can't believe that the world is still spinning, people are still going on with their lives. Then some time goes by and you pick yourself back up and your life keeps going, too.
Although I partake in too much Taco Bell (Damn you, Gordita and your deliciousness!) and not enough exercise (running is for pussies) for the most part I feel pretty healthy and assume that will remain the case until I'm much much older and my kids are much much older. Yet, here I am at 33 years old (just over a month till I'm 34) and I've faced my own battles with the big C, have several friends who have or are wrestling with their own forms of cancer and even one that is desperately seeking an organ donation. These aren't my 70 year old friends. (Some of my mom's friends like me.) These are women in their 30's. Until I wrote that sentence, I didn't even realize these are all women that I'm thinking of. Can't even think of a guy I know that is dealing with a health issue. Fuck, those white dudes get everything! That is such bullshit. Alright, ladies and any black dudes that are reading this - so...Derrick - go kick a white dude in the crotch today. Too extreme? Fine, maybe just park over the yellow line making it extra difficult to get into their car. They'll blame it on the fact that you're a chick or black anyway.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand - when talking to my girlfriend today about this, she wondered if there was something in our water when we were younger. Knowing us, it would have had to have been in our beer...or Mad Dog. And as we all know alcohol kills disease so based upon our lifetime consumption, we really should be a healthier population. Maybe there really is something to this hippy logic that all these cell phones really are bad for us, putting too much radiation out there. That can't be. Izzy, my iPhone, would never hurt me. She loves me.
It's probably those damn Canadians. Those bastards will do anything to wipe us out.
Well, if you are going through any health issue or any other kind of issue, I hope this little blog can be one escape for you and can give you a little laugh.
P.S. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!
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