My apologies

Please forgive the gap between posts. I've been busy doing.....well everything. Working, cooking, cleaning, bathing, diaper changing, yelling, watching, laughing, drinking, disciplining, fighting, crying, worrying, regretting, lying, talking, Facebooking....you get the idea.

But hopefully you're still out there - saying and doing nothing. Kind of like we're married.

Sorry, Mike, couldn't resist.

But I'm here now. Mike's putting the oldest to bed. The youngest is in his crib talking to himself. The dryer is fluffing and the washing machine is making a noise that I should probably be tending to, but my priority right now is you. Feel special? You fucking should. I have Glee to watch.

All the shows are back on. Maybe that's what has kept me away. I tend to think I don't watch a lot of television. Mostly kid shows. Mostly Blues Clues. My one year-old is obsessed with TV. Whatever room he's in, the TV has to be on. He isn't necessarily watching it, but it has to be on. He'll grab the remote and once he's pressed a series of buttons and wrecked whatever system you have he hands it off to someone else in the room. The four year-old doesn't have to have the TV on, but if it is on he gets sucked into it very easily. I'd like to be one of those parents that limits the TV watching, but I'm too freaking tired for all of that. TV is the best babysitter I have. It's how I make dinner. It's how I switch loads of laundry. The kids still get their fair share of attention. I keep trying to ignore them, but they won't go away.

Half of the television I do watch is fairly embarrassing, but I can't help myself. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It feels so good. 90210? It's like a sick addiction that I can't give up. I need an intervention or something. At least the first season they gave me Kelly, Brenda and a bit of Donna, but now I have just these anorexic rich bitches that are always dressed up and wanting for nothing. At least they're whores. That always makes me feel better.

So this post isn't much. I've said mostly nothing, but just wanted to let you know that I'm here. I'm tired, grouchy and fighting a bit of a cold but I'm here and I'll try to be back tomorrow. Now the gay man that lives inside me has to come out and show his spirit fingers to Glee.

Peace be with you.

And also with you.

Bitches.